Ritueelbegeleider.nl
How do you write your welcome for a funeral?
Jump to section
A funeral or cremation is often an emotional moment. You have taken on the task of welcoming everyone as the ceremony begins. You want people to calm down and open up to what is to come.
Here you will find tips to get you started quickly with writing your welcome speech. Thanks to all kinds of examples plus explanations, you immediately know what works for you and why.
Would you like me to read along with you?
Here you will find tips to get you started quickly with writing your welcome speech. Thanks to all kinds of examples plus explanations, you immediately know what works for you and why.
Would you like me to read along with you?
contact us
I can also write on your behalf
The three steps of a good welcome: now, soon, and later
A good welcome speech ensures that people are present with their head and their heart. You can achieve this in 3 steps:
- you name the here and now - creates attention
- you say what will happen soon - provides guidance
- you conclude with what you hope for later - creates inspiration
But first you name where you are and introduce yourself: I call that step 0.
Step 0
Who and where
It always works well to start by telling where you are. That seems crazy: everyone knows it, because people are physically present or via a livestream. And yet it works. You create a framework and literally give the funeral service a 'place'.
If you then tell who you are and what your role is, you take away the questions from the listeners that can prevent them from really listening to you.
By starting with the where and who, the attendees also get used to your voice and how you speak. When you start with your welcome speech, all ears and eyes are focused on you.
If you then tell who you are and what your role is, you take away the questions from the listeners that can prevent them from really listening to you.
By starting with the where and who, the attendees also get used to your voice and how you speak. When you start with your welcome speech, all ears and eyes are focused on you.
Step 1
You name the here and now
People need peace to be attentive to the funeral or cremation service. It therefore helps if you address people personally in your opening speech. You can further enhance the peace and attention by also naming feelings.
Addressing people personally
How do you address the guests personally in your welcome speech? I will discuss the possibilities based on examples, but first put them in a row for you.
Example 1: by mentioning their names.
Example 2: by welcoming them per group.
Example 3: a combination of these.
After these examples, I will discuss mentioning deceased partners or children of the close family members: they also belong there. I conclude the first part of the welcome speech with the tip to also name feelings. As an extra, I add some tips for when people are watching from a distance.
Perhaps you want to know how to ensure that you don't forget anyone? See [frequently asked questions] for the answer and tips.
Example 1: by mentioning their names.
Example 2: by welcoming them per group.
Example 3: a combination of these.
After these examples, I will discuss mentioning deceased partners or children of the close family members: they also belong there. I conclude the first part of the welcome speech with the tip to also name feelings. As an extra, I add some tips for when people are watching from a distance.
Perhaps you want to know how to ensure that you don't forget anyone? See [frequently asked questions] for the answer and tips.
example 1: mentioning names
Welcome here in funeral center De Brug, where we come together for the last time around Jan de Vries. My name is Sophie, I am Jan's daughter.
Welcome our mother, Alet, who has been married to her Jan for more than 50 years.
Welcome to the last of his still living brothers and sisters: uncle Koos, and his wife Gerda.
Welcome also to my brothers and sisters, the children and children-in-law of Jan and Alet: Thomas and Aaltje, Cornelis and Arturo, my husband Jeremy.
and the grandchildren Jet and Janna, Tim, Ferre.
Welcome our mother, Alet, who has been married to her Jan for more than 50 years.
Welcome to the last of his still living brothers and sisters: uncle Koos, and his wife Gerda.
Welcome also to my brothers and sisters, the children and children-in-law of Jan and Alet: Thomas and Aaltje, Cornelis and Arturo, my husband Jeremy.
and the grandchildren Jet and Janna, Tim, Ferre.
Explanation of example 1
You see that it works well to first mention the place where you are in the welcome speech of a funeral, and also who you are. The reason why you are there (“for the last time…”) also fits here.
On behalf of whom do you welcome? You can literally mention that, or assume that people know it. On behalf of whom is more important when you write a thank-you speech. In this case, it is clear that you are speaking as a member of the family.
Repeating the word 'welcome' gives rhythm and clarity. By always continuing the sentences after the word welcome in a slightly different way (welcome here, welcome our, welcome to, welcome also to) you keep it varied.
You can look at people briefly when mentioning them.
On behalf of whom do you welcome? You can literally mention that, or assume that people know it. On behalf of whom is more important when you write a thank-you speech. In this case, it is clear that you are speaking as a member of the family.
Repeating the word 'welcome' gives rhythm and clarity. By always continuing the sentences after the word welcome in a slightly different way (welcome here, welcome our, welcome to, welcome also to) you keep it varied.
You can look at people briefly when mentioning them.
example 2: naming groups
Welcome here in funeral center De Brug where we come together for the last time around Jan de Vries. My name is Sophie, I am Jan's daughter.
Welcome to my brothers and sisters, to the children and grandchildren of Jan and Alet.
Welcome to the families of our father Jan and our mother Alet: uncles and aunts, nephews and nieces.
Finally, also welcome to friends, neighbors and colleagues of Jan, Alet, their children and grandchildren.
Welcome to my brothers and sisters, to the children and grandchildren of Jan and Alet.
Welcome to the families of our father Jan and our mother Alet: uncles and aunts, nephews and nieces.
Finally, also welcome to friends, neighbors and colleagues of Jan, Alet, their children and grandchildren.
Explanation of example 2
You see that it works well to first mention the place where you are in the welcome speech of a funeral, and also who you are. The reason why you are there (“for the last time…”) also fits here.
In deviation from example 1, I have assumed here that “our mother Alet” has also passed away.
Always name the groups in their relation to the deceased: children of, friends of, etc.
You can look at people briefly when mentioning them, for example at an aunt when you are talking about uncles and aunts. Usually people sit close to each other.
In deviation from example 1, I have assumed here that “our mother Alet” has also passed away.
Always name the groups in their relation to the deceased: children of, friends of, etc.
You can look at people briefly when mentioning them, for example at an aunt when you are talking about uncles and aunts. Usually people sit close to each other.
example 3: combination of names and groups
Welcome here in funeral center De Brug where we come together for the last time around Jan de Vries. My name is Sophie, I am Jan's daughter.
Welcome our mother, Alet, who has been married to her Jan for more than 50 years.
Welcome also to my brother and sister, the children and children-in-law of Jan and Alet: Thomas and Aaltje, Cornelis and Arturo, my husband Jeremy, and to the grandchildren Jet and Janna, Tim, Ferre.
Finally, also welcome to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues of Jan, Alet, their children and grandchildren.
Welcome our mother, Alet, who has been married to her Jan for more than 50 years.
Welcome also to my brother and sister, the children and children-in-law of Jan and Alet: Thomas and Aaltje, Cornelis and Arturo, my husband Jeremy, and to the grandchildren Jet and Janna, Tim, Ferre.
Finally, also welcome to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues of Jan, Alet, their children and grandchildren.
Explanation of example 3
I would now like to draw attention to the word 'around' in the first sentence. Do you see how that evokes an image of connection?
You could also speak of coming together around the body of Jan de Vries, or around the memories of Jan de Vries (also appropriate if the body is not present).
You could also speak of coming together around the body of Jan de Vries, or around the memories of Jan de Vries (also appropriate if the body is not present).
How do you deal with deceased partners or children?
A deceased partner or child is never completely out of your thoughts. Certainly not during a funeral or cremation. They belong there and therefore you mention them in your welcome speech.
If you mention names you do it like this:
Welcome to Cor and Joke, to Annelies – so connected with Gerda.
Welcome to Thomas and Aaltje, and of course Sammy belongs with you.
If you indicate groups you do it like this:
Welcome to the grandchildren, and of course I also mention Sammy.
Welcome to the children of Jan and Alet, Peter should not be missing.
You always mention the deceased partner, child, brother or sister by her or his name. You name the deceased from the connection with partner, parents, brothers and sisters.
Please note: give the relatives of the deceased person you mention a heads-up beforehand. It can be very emotional to also hear the name of your deceased partner, child, parent, brother or sister during a funeral.
If you mention names you do it like this:
Welcome to Cor and Joke, to Annelies – so connected with Gerda.
Welcome to Thomas and Aaltje, and of course Sammy belongs with you.
If you indicate groups you do it like this:
Welcome to the grandchildren, and of course I also mention Sammy.
Welcome to the children of Jan and Alet, Peter should not be missing.
You always mention the deceased partner, child, brother or sister by her or his name. You name the deceased from the connection with partner, parents, brothers and sisters.
Please note: give the relatives of the deceased person you mention a heads-up beforehand. It can be very emotional to also hear the name of your deceased partner, child, parent, brother or sister during a funeral.
Naming feelings
By naming feelings that people might have at this moment in this place, you enhance the peace and attention, because you make the listeners aware of it for a moment. By naming feeling you make it normal, and then it is no longer in the way.
You can name or approach the feelings in three ways, via a detour or directly.
Example 1: by showing something of your own feeling.
Example 2: listing what people might feel.
Example 3: a combination of these.
During a funeral, feelings are more on the surface than usual. By giving them attention in the welcome, you create relaxation.
You can name or approach the feelings in three ways, via a detour or directly.
Example 1: by showing something of your own feeling.
Example 2: listing what people might feel.
Example 3: a combination of these.
During a funeral, feelings are more on the surface than usual. By giving them attention in the welcome, you create relaxation.
example 1: showing your own feeling
I am standing here with mixed feelings. Of course I also find it exciting to stand here in front of you and welcome you. I am standing here with a feeling of relief and with a feeling of sadness.
Relief because the difficult last months of Jan have come to an end. Sadness because he is not here now, because our mother has lost her mate and the grandchildren their grandfather.
Relief because the difficult last months of Jan have come to an end. Sadness because he is not here now, because our mother has lost her mate and the grandchildren their grandfather.
Explanation of example 1
If you name your own feeling, you appeal to the empathy of the people you welcome. They empathize with you, and are determined by their own feeling along the way.
Naming your feelings often cannot be done without showing something of your feeling. Showing that it touches you is therefore not at all bad: it belongs to the moment. But make sure that your emotions do not get the upper hand during the welcome speech. Then the listeners will be too busy with your feelings and they will get away from their own feelings.
Naming your feelings often cannot be done without showing something of your feeling. Showing that it touches you is therefore not at all bad: it belongs to the moment. But make sure that your emotions do not get the upper hand during the welcome speech. Then the listeners will be too busy with your feelings and they will get away from their own feelings.
example 2: listing possible feelings
I notice that this moment evokes different feelings in different people.
Other loss that comes up. Anger about death. Mourning for what is no longer possible. Mourning for what could never have been. Maybe you feel everything at once, maybe you feel nothing at all.
In any case, feel welcome, we are glad you are here.
Other loss that comes up. Anger about death. Mourning for what is no longer possible. Mourning for what could never have been. Maybe you feel everything at once, maybe you feel nothing at all.
In any case, feel welcome, we are glad you are here.
Explanation of example 2
A list of feelings is safe. It is general enough and yet people feel seen by it: they have permission to feel what they feel.
The last sentence underlines that.
The last sentence underlines that.
example 3: combination of own feeling and possible feelings
I am standing here with a mixed feeling of sadness and loss on the one hand, and on the other hand also relief.
Relief because the debilitating illness of Jan has come to an end. Sadness and loss because we have lost our father, our mother her mate and our grandchildren their grandfather.
There are probably also other feelings that live with you at this moment. Because you miss someone else very much right now. Are angry about death. Feel mourning for what is no longer possible or what has never been. Maybe you feel very little.
In any case, feel welcome, we are glad you are here.
Relief because the debilitating illness of Jan has come to an end. Sadness and loss because we have lost our father, our mother her mate and our grandchildren their grandfather.
There are probably also other feelings that live with you at this moment. Because you miss someone else very much right now. Are angry about death. Feel mourning for what is no longer possible or what has never been. Maybe you feel very little.
In any case, feel welcome, we are glad you are here.
Explanation of example 3
By showing your feeling and naming the possible feeling of others, you give a reassuring message: 'You can experience the farewell ceremony here with your own emotions.' In that way you ensure that people feel more at ease and will get more out of the funeral service.
Extra: welcoming people who are watching from a distance
Are people watching the funeral service via a livestream or recording? Then look into the camera and welcome those people as a separate group at the beginning of your welcome speech.
example: welcome via the camera
We are glad that some people can also attend this farewell ceremony via the recording. A special word of welcome to you.
The other moment when you focus on these people is the thank-you speech.
The other moment when you focus on these people is the thank-you speech.
Step 2
You say what will happen soon
By telling in your welcome speech what will happen during the farewell service, you give the attendees guidance. You help people to focus their attention if they know what they can expect approximately.
You can specifically describe what is to come. (example 1)
Or use general terms. (example 2)
Otherwise choose a combination of these. (example 3)
You can specifically describe what is to come. (example 1)
Or use general terms. (example 2)
Otherwise choose a combination of these. (example 3)
example 1: specific description
In this ceremony we listen to music by, among others, Bach and The Shadows. Jan played these CDs to death in recent years.
As speakers we will hear successively my brother Thomas, granddaughter Jet, brother Koos and friend Gerard.
After playing Time to Say Goodbye by son-in-law Arturo, we will bring Jan to his final resting place.
As speakers we will hear successively my brother Thomas, granddaughter Jet, brother Koos and friend Gerard.
After playing Time to Say Goodbye by son-in-law Arturo, we will bring Jan to his final resting place.
example 2: general terms
In this farewell meeting we will listen to music that Jan played a lot in recent years.
A number of family members and a friend will speak, and at the end Arturo will play the piano and sing for us.
Then we leave for the cemetery.
A number of family members and a friend will speak, and at the end Arturo will play the piano and sing for us.
Then we leave for the cemetery.
example 3: combination of specific and general
In this farewell ceremony we listen to music by, among others, Bach and The Shadows. Jan played these CDs to death in recent years.
A number of family members and a friend of Jan will speak.
As a conclusion, Time to Say Goodbye sounds by Arturo, and then we leave for the cemetery.
A number of family members and a friend of Jan will speak.
As a conclusion, Time to Say Goodbye sounds by Arturo, and then we leave for the cemetery.
Step 3
You conclude with what you hope for later
A funeral ceremony revolves around the deceased, but the target group is the relatives. You make that explicit when you express at the end of your welcome what you hope the farewell will mean for the relatives.
Between the lines you make the attendees aware that the funeral has a function for their life after today. The cremation or burial is after all the start of a new phase, without the deceased
The memory of a good respectful ceremony gives support and comfort later.
Between the lines you make the attendees aware that the funeral has a function for their life after today. The cremation or burial is after all the start of a new phase, without the deceased
The memory of a good respectful ceremony gives support and comfort later.
examples: hope, wish, expectation
I hope that the coming half hour will do us good.
I expect that we will be able to look back on a dignified meeting later.
My wish is that we and you will draw support from what will be said and played.
Hopefully this meeting will offer us a beautiful memory to look back on later.
I expect that we will be able to look back on a dignified meeting later.
My wish is that we and you will draw support from what will be said and played.
Hopefully this meeting will offer us a beautiful memory to look back on later.
By mentioning the intention of the funeral meeting or cremation service in your welcome speech, you give what is going to happen a deeper meaning. In other words you say: 'This is what we are doing it for.'
Do you want to speak your welcome speech with confidence? I will read along with you and give personal tips.
get tips
I can also write and/or speak for you
A good welcome speech sets the tone
The farewell is intended for the relatives. That is why you grant them to get as much out of it as possible. Your welcome speech helps with that, by consciously naming things that could unconsciously stand in the way of attention.
If the guests have the feeling that they are welcome, they can relax better and relaxation ensures attention. Also if people know approximately what they can expect, that gives guidance and peace.
By naming what you hope the ceremony will have as an effect, you give the expectations inspiration and depth: this is what we are doing it for, pay attention!
If the guests have the feeling that they are welcome, they can relax better and relaxation ensures attention. Also if people know approximately what they can expect, that gives guidance and peace.
By naming what you hope the ceremony will have as an effect, you give the expectations inspiration and depth: this is what we are doing it for, pay attention!