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How do you write a thank you speech for a funeral?
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You want to thank people during a funeral or cremation. It can be quite difficult to come up with something in the stressful days after a death. And of course you don't want to overlook anything.
Here you will find the tips to get started quickly with writing your acknowledgment. Thanks to all kinds of examples plus explanations, you immediately see what suits you.
I will first discuss the 4 components of a good acknowledgment, and then discuss three frequently asked questions.
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then you will figure it out
The 4 components of a good acknowledgment during a farewell
You always include four elements in the text of your thank you speech:
- you state on whose behalf you are speaking
- you say what you are grateful for and what that does to you
- you indicate who you want to thank in particular
- you say something about the future
But first introduce yourself: I call that step 0.
Step 0
Who are you
When you tell who you are and what your role is, you take away the questions from the audience that may prevent them from really listening to you. This creates peace and space, also in your acknowledgment, for the message you want to convey. Of course: if it is perfectly clear to everyone who you are, you can skip this step.
Step 1
On whose behalf are you giving the acknowledgment
People are present, or follow the funeral online, because they have seen or received an invitation. You give the acknowledgment on behalf of those who sent the invitation.
Example: thanking on behalf of
My name is Sophie, the eldest daughter of Jan and Alet.
On behalf of our mother Alet, my brother and sister, and the grandchildren of Jan and Alet, I would like to thank you very much for your presence here this afternoon, and for the presence of those of you who are attending this farewell remotely and perhaps at another time.
On behalf of our mother Alet, my brother and sister, and the grandchildren of Jan and Alet, I would like to thank you very much for your presence here this afternoon, and for the presence of those of you who are attending this farewell remotely and perhaps at another time.
In your acknowledgment, you reach out to people with whom you feel connected during these days of saying goodbye.
In the frequently asked questions at the bottom of the page you can read at what point in the ceremony you give the acknowledgment.
Step 2
What are you grateful for?
It means a lot that people have responded to the invitation from the relatives. That they have made time.
They may have traveled to be able to attend the funeral or cremation.
Or they are not there but have made themselves heard, or sent flowers.
Mention what you are grateful for, that strengthens your gratitude.
Example: thank you for your support
My name is Sophie, the eldest daughter of Jan and Alet.
On behalf of our mother Alet, my brother and sister, and the grandchildren of Jan and Alet, I would like to thank you very much…
… for your presence here this afternoon, and for the presence of those of you who are attending this farewell remotely and perhaps at another time
The people who sent cards or messages or called in the past week: thank you.
We are also very grateful for the flowers that you have sent or brought with you today
Tip: Vary by using different formulations. In the example, these are: ‘I want to thank you’, ‘We are grateful for’, and simply ‘thank you.’
What it does to you, the feeling or the idea of support
You thank people for the support they give you: in doing so, you give them something back. How do you make it even stronger? By telling what the support does to you.
In doing so, you distinguish between people from the personal circle of you or the deceased, and people who knew the deceased but you do not.
Example 1: support from people you know
Example 2: support from people who knew the deceased but you do not
Example 3: a combination of these
In doing so, you distinguish between people from the personal circle of you or the deceased, and people who knew the deceased but you do not.
Example 1: support from people you know
Example 2: support from people who knew the deceased but you do not
Example 3: a combination of these
Example 1: people you know
Your support means a lot to us.
It feels good to feel that there are people around us.
And it is nice to notice that so many people are thinking of us these days.
It feels good to feel that there are people around us.
And it is nice to notice that so many people are thinking of us these days.
Explanation of example 1
These are three variants of the same thing, you could say. Yet they also complement each other through the different wording (‘means a lot to us’, ‘feel’, ‘notice’).
Example 2: people who knew the deceased
It is a great support for us to notice that our father meant something to so many people.
We are happy to experience that the contact with our father has left good memories with so many.
In the expressions of support we have received, we get something back from the impression that our father has left with you.
We are happy to experience that the contact with our father has left good memories with so many.
In the expressions of support we have received, we get something back from the impression that our father has left with you.
Explanation of example 2
There are often people you don't know during a funeral service.
For example, colleagues of the deceased. Or people who represent a club, committee or board to which the deceased belonged.
The fact that the meaning that the deceased had extends beyond family, friends and neighbors is a thought that can give support.
For example, colleagues of the deceased. Or people who represent a club, committee or board to which the deceased belonged.
The fact that the meaning that the deceased had extends beyond family, friends and neighbors is a thought that can give support.
Example 3: combination of acquaintances and strangers
We feel supported by everyone who has let us know these days that they are thinking of us. That you are around us helps us to bear the grief.
The knowledge that the contact with our father has left good memories with all kinds of people is a great comfort.
The knowledge that the contact with our father has left good memories with all kinds of people is a great comfort.
Explanation of example 3
These are long sentences, but worth pronouncing! You see that in the first sentences the attention is on the people close by and in the last sentences on (‘all kinds of’) people further away.
Step 3
Who you want to thank in particular
Sometimes there are people who deserve a special mention. Because, for example, they played an important role in the last phase of the deceased's life. Or because they helped in the preparations for the funeral service.
It does not matter whether these people are present at the funeral or cremation. By mentioning them, you emphasize that they deserve a special mention.
Examples: special thanks
We would like to express our special thanks to the nurses of the pediatric oncology department and to doctor Francien Hermansen. They have not only supported our son but also us enormously in all difficult moments.
On behalf of my mother and my brother, I would also like to thank our brother Arturo enormously for his enormous efforts as a caregiver in recent years. Thanks to you, we were able to let father and mother live with peace of mind where they felt comfortable.
On behalf of my mother and my brother, I would also like to thank our brother Arturo enormously for his enormous efforts as a caregiver in recent years. Thanks to you, we were able to let father and mother live with peace of mind where they felt comfortable.
Explanation of example 3
You can thank the silent forces that were there in difficult times, even if they are family members. This way you let them know that special attention and care is never a matter of course, even if it may have been part of their role or position.
Step 4
Say something about the future
Coming together around someone who has died creates connection. That connection gives the people who are grieving a little support.
You may express the wish that that supportive connection remains.
You may express the wish that that supportive connection remains.
Example: connection in the future
We hope that something of the connection that we experience together today may continue to exist after today. We will certainly need your support in the time to come.
As we are here around Jan together today, we may not get together again. Yet I hope that we can take something of the connection with us. And find a way to continue to experience it in the period ahead.
As we are here around Jan together today, we may not get together again. Yet I hope that we can take something of the connection with us. And find a way to continue to experience it in the period ahead.
Explanation of example 4
By using diminutives such as ‘something of’ or ‘a little’, you make the wish you express less massive. You already indicate that it is possible in all kinds of ways, and in this way you do not make a heavy appeal to those present.
Frequently asked questions
Thanking is giving back and concluding
If you thank people for the support they have given, you are giving them something back in that way. Expressing this good feeling is also part of the funeral.
By thanking, you sometimes briefly connect with the time prior to the death, with the caring forces in your existence. You already conclude something with it, although you naturally hope that the support will continue even after the funeral.
By thanking for support, you indicate that you are aware of it and that people can also count on you.
With the above steps and examples, you can quickly write a beautiful, personal and concluding acknowledgment.
By thanking, you sometimes briefly connect with the time prior to the death, with the caring forces in your existence. You already conclude something with it, although you naturally hope that the support will continue even after the funeral.
By thanking for support, you indicate that you are aware of it and that people can also count on you.
With the above steps and examples, you can quickly write a beautiful, personal and concluding acknowledgment.